I Wonder...

by Kareena Zerefos

Sometimes I wonder if it's possible to obtain or even regain the imagination and wonder of being a child.  We all sat together and watched "Hook" last night.  I watched as Georgia, "Finked Happy Foughts" and attempted to fly off the couch time and time again.  She finally turned to me and said,"Would you ask God to let me fly, I really want to."  I sat there silent.  Me the one that has said, "I'm going to be honest and open with her all of her days."  But now....How can I break it to her that even God can't grant her wish to fly?  Or can He?  Am I so stifled in my world of "reality" that I have lost touch of the wonder and possibility all around me?  Is she giving me a glimpse into the possibility that I once knew and have now lost sight of?  She asked me a couple days ago if Mommy and Daddy know everything.  I quickly told her, "No, don't let us ever pretend like we do.  In fact, you teach us things every day.  Sometimes things we thought we knew but you help remind us that we don't!"  I mean't that but still just like I said...I sometimes wish there was a way to measure just how much more she knows than I do.

David and I watched a film called "Blindsight" last week.  A film about six blind Tibetan teenagers on their journey to climb Everest.  I don't want to give away the end because I strongly suggest you watch it.  I will say that we both felt conflicted about how much some of the guides pushed the children and in the end debated on who the climb was more important to, the seeing or the blind.  We so often think we are at such an advantage with all of our vast knowledge and sight, yet it brings me to this question.  Does our sight limit our ability to see things as they truly are?  Who's to say that the blind's imagination is limited without sight?  Is it possible that this frees them to things beyond our chains or "reality."  And in comparison does a child's lack of experience limit their ability to understand their potential in this life and beyond?
What are your thoughts?


Papier Mache Magazine 

Art: From the Menagerie by Kareena Zerefos
Photography: Papier Mache Magazine
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Internal Struggles of Granola Glam

I have officially watched one too many "Corporate Documentaries."  I am now thinking it is a must to learn how to make my own shampoo, save seeds......and well....learn how to can.  I'm currently debating on which company to buy soap nuts from and which shampoo recipe to try.  I'm feeling as though the end is near. If I turn this corner, I might never return.  Am I destined to be a dirty hippie?  (I mean that as a term of endearment.) My days of salivating over Horchow are nearing an end...my heart races at the thought. I'm a little bit glamour, a little bit granola girl. I feel so torn. On the other hand, at least Horchow is up front about what they are.  I am in no way, shape, or form under the impression that a tree hugging hipster named Maggie is behind Horchow.  Now, if you are a soap nuts company and are promoting chemical-free organic laundry detergent... Why on earth do you put it in a brightly printed box and then in a cellophane wrapper.  Please! Nothing that gets under my skin more than a hypocritical dirty hippie. Oh, wait...it's a trust fund hypocritical dirty hippie.  I digress. There is no Maggie, is there? Oh, and the baby breastfeeding doesn't fool me.

Ahhh, yes.  Now where was I?

I have been staring at this screen, contemplating....Is it really more expensive to live healthier?  The soap nuts weren't more expensive and they grow on trees.  It's hard to weed through the "organic" and "natural" companies now that it is so trendy.  I need to be a physicist to know what I'm reading....even on the "organic and natural" products?  That doesn't seem right....Or I can pay an outrageous price to keep chemicals off my family's head and skin.  Can't trust them either.  That brings me here.  Reading anything that google gives me.  I even pulled out my Lavender Deodorant that I bought at Whole Foods in Cali.....you know, the one that didn't smell like Rain so I put it in the back of the cabinet along with my convictions.  I opted to buy the big momma pack of Dove @ Costco.  Sweet Buddha!  Hey, I'm trying people! I want to see my baby get married one day.  My deodorant...or fear of BO shouldn't keep me from that. Can you tell I'm a little stressed about all this?

  I've been trying to save money....so yes I have discarded all Salon Products for some time now....ok, minus hairspray.....ok and fine Chi Serum.  But for those of you that know me and may have lived with me at one point in time.  You know, down to two products and Dove Shampoo bought in bulk is a monumental feat.  So here I am looking at these Shampoo Recipes....that all contain my favorite Castile Soap I might add.  I get to thinking.  Making my own will be more cost efficient, healthy, and MOST importantly more fun.  So, where's the compromise?  I get to add in my own essential oils which is what I want more of in my Salon Products.  More over, I get to rid my hair of the year of build up that over the counter products have caused.  For those of you that may...and I might be flattering myself, but I'll risk embarrassing myself for the sake of the cause.  For those of you that may be thinking, "What is she talking about, she has nice hair."  The truth is, that since I gave birth to Georgia my scalp has been all out of whack.  Not even the salon products helped.  Ya know what did?  Dr. Bronner's Castile Soap.  I use it as a scalp treatment.  It feels like a spa treatment and makes me a believer in the power of essential oils on the psyche.  Ay yi yi, I still have a recipe to post.  Best wind this down.  So now you know.  I think I'm about to make some changes around our house....and maybe I'll realize I'd rather have cancer than BO.  I hope not.

My Pick's

# 1 Soap Nuts Find:  http://www.buysoapnuts.com/index.html

# 2 Soap Nuts Find:  http://mothernaturesdetergent.com/

#1 Essential Oils, Butter, Herbs, and Spices: http://www.mountainroseherbs.com/index.php?AID=096041&BID=8040

A New Materialism

Nikki McClure. A New Materialism. 

I haven't written much of anything for some years now.  Not even to journal.  Suppose I've just been keeping my head above water....trying to at least.  Starting this blog has me thinking a lot about this life that I'm building.  If you know me, you know I come from a long history of....well let's say, Materialism.   I've never been one to promote "El Natural."  Let's enhance our hair, face, body, and now....Our Life?

  Now, I'll be the first one to say.....I enjoy a good purchase.  When I watched "Confessions of a Shopaholic" I laughed out loud, I could relate.  In particular to the part about purchasing Lavender Honey from a shop clerk because she had a lazy eye.  I'm the QUEEN of justifying unnecessary purchases.  All of this has me thinking though, what really is the price of all this stuff?  

I started this blog and wrote my profile stating that I am a Hopeful Housewife who desires to get back to the roots from which I came.  Then....I posted all the STUFF that I love so dearly.  Feeling like the obvious hypocrite that I am, I decided to change my profile rather then remove "The Stuff."  I have to admit it has been haunting me the past few days.  Especially considering the fact that purchasing is something I've done very little of the past...well few years but especially this past year.  I suppose it is all very human of me, now isn't it.

This leads to me to my trip this morning to King Soopers, or King Stupid, or my personal favorite Queen Sooper for those Coloradans out there.  For those of you that or not, this is a Kroger Grocers.  Georgia wasn't feeling well and was still in her jammies with a pillow and blanket in the basket.  Don't judge, we were out of milk, I had to go.  I was nearing the end of my list, passing through to grab my eggs.  As I turned the corner an older, very handsome African American man came out of the stock room.  Now for those of you that think it was unnecessary to point out his race, it was necessary because you can't picture how handsome he was if you pictured him any other race.  Ok, so where was I?  Oh yes,  there was a stocking cart in front of us and we had that awkward nod of you go, no I'll go, no you....  All the while he has the most brilliant white toothy smile that made me feel all warm and fuzzy. So of course, who wouldn't smile back?  I went ahead of him and shimmied over to grab the eggs.  As I turn to continue my shopping I hear someone say,"Ma'am."  Now, I know I like to age myself but I'm no Ma'am but seeing that there was no one else around resembling that description I turned behind me.  There he was my handsome friend standing behind me, stock cart in hand.  He proceeds to compliment my pretty smile and thanked me for returning his with such warmth.  He continues to tell me that this time of year people are so stressed and grouchy to each other and employees.  I almost immediately felt my eyes welling up with tears....If you know me,  this is not eventful...just another Thursday morning. The man goes on and on telling me how sad it makes him that people are under such tremendous stress that they get angry because there are too many people in the isles.  He also tells me he tries to be conscious of how he treats people because regardless of how distasteful shoppers can be, he recognizes that he has no idea what is going on in that individuals personal life.  He can make a difference in a positive or negative way.  It's up to him to decide which it will be.  All the while, I'm fighting my tears back because I know God put Steve in my path this morning  to confirm what has been eating at me for some time now.  Is less more balanced?  Steve tells me of his sister that passed away in the middle of last month.  He speaks very matter-of-factly, sharing that she never got out of the house, smoked a pack a day, was very overweight and consequently had diabetes.  Not a quality of life and yet our society tells us that it is.  Anything to quiet us from what is happening around us.  I suppose it was all very human of her, now wasn't it.  

I shared Nikki McClure's A New Materialism because it was exactly what I was looking for.  Please know this is not a political blog, trying to get my agendas across.  Simply, this is the convictions of my days of late.  This is me, on my journey, trying to decide what kind of life I want to build and what  legacy I want to leave for my daughter.  Maybe my hunger for "The Stuff" isn't so wrong but simply misplaced.  Maybe "My Stuff" needs reinventing.

Thankyou, Steve, a manager at King Soopers for taking the time to remind me what is most important.

For those of you that are horrified by my grammar, punctuation, and ridiculous run on sentences.  I sincerely apologize.  Just hope that it gets better the more I write.  If not, feel free to judge me.  I do.